Saturday, March 31, 2007

Betty Hutton, I Think One Thing Is Clear:

When all of the other orbs abandoned me for "Man Arms" last week, it was then ---> that YOU carried me.

Thank you, for the lift!

A little Kafka.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Fifty "One Minute" Rabbits

This arrangement can be seen to tell a bit of a tale.

A familiar culmination:

Fifty Rabbits - an obsessive series, 2001

The rabbit lives tranquilly with leaves and falling slices of star fruit. Sadly, hoards of bonded Icelandic Cannibals shuffle in and immediately annihilate the sewage system ---> turning the cute blue rabbit into a grumpy black rabbit. He is compelled to run. He gets hit by a car just after being punched in the face by a tap dancer somewhere near St. Marks. After several hours, he is picked up by the ambulance for two fractured ribs. He enjoys the pure oxygen he receives during his ride. And the morphine. He is taken to ICU, where he dies the next day from a staph infection caused from being forced to fill out his insurance information with a rusty clipped Bic.

He now bounds around that "Great Watership In The Sky", and does digital "orb" work on the weekends.

A. Randall is largely famous for her work from this era. It was in her most pugilistic compilations of baseless banalities back in the spring of '01, that the epic movement: "Lazism, And The Anti-Ockham" found force among not even one.

Gordon Matta-Clark Retrospective / Whitney Museum

Much More Hilarious Than The Speed Of Light!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Holly Hunter! Cheer Up! It's Your Birthday!

Why aren't you making me laugh anymore?

It's LITERALLY been decades.


Monday, March 19, 2007

Breaking News: This IS Happening!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Attn: Folks At Dateline NBC'S 'To Catch A Predator'

I'm In Love With The Morton Salt Girl
Richard Peabody

I'm in love with the Morton salt girl.
I want to pour salt in her hair and watch
her dance. I want to walk her through the salt rain and pretend that it is water. I want to
get lost in the Washington Cathedral and follow her
salt trail to freedom.

I want to discover her salt lick in the forests of Virginia.
I want to stand in line for hours to see her walk on in
the middle of a movie only to have the film break and watch salt
pour out and flood the aisles. I want to sit in an empty theater
up to my eyeballs in salt and dream of her.

When I go home she will be waiting for me in her white dress
and I will drink salt water and lose my bad dreams.
I will seek the blindness of salt, salt down my wounds,
hang like a side of ham over the curtain rod in the bathroom
and let her pour salt directly on my body.

When she is done I will lick her salty lips with my tongue
and walk her down the stairs into the rain, wishing that I
could grow gills and bathe in her vast salt seas.


There's a tangerine rotting on my desk.
I should probably throw it away,
but I've grown accustomed to the shape sitting there.
Besides, I like the way it smells.

Out of crazed anticipation for this iconic little girl's sick, twisted, and glaringly LOOMING demise ---> I followed a clue trail of my very own, which lead me to a MOST chilling addition to's review section referring to Peabody's sweaty, greasy collection:

0 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
by Marilyn Monroe-Cari Hixon new Morton's salt girl, February 11, 2003
Reviewer: Marilyn Monroe (LUCAS DIGITAL SAN RAFAEL CA ART DEPT) - See all my reviews
Hello to all of you. I am Cari Hixon, the new Morton's salt girl. I have redesigned the packaging and put yellow rain pants on me, to bring up to date, also the package has rained etched all over container now. I would like to represent the Morton's salt company with a new name, Morton's, not Morton, and a real person behind the little girl, I know this was probably a real person, but I believe I would be better at it. This book that Richard wrote is fantastic, and I'm sure he would like to write a sequal with the new logo, which is the same but better, and with a real person behind it, with more rain and yellow rain pants, and a real person behind the new name Morton's, me, the salt girl, Cari Hixon

...Well, she wrote this back in '03... BUT -----> HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN CHECKING?????

Uhmm, so yes. The slimeball teaches at Johns Hopkins and lives in Arlington.

Have at it.

The greatest crime of all would be to put a veritable fashion muse in "yellow rain pants".

In the immortal words of young Donald Hyatt:
"Blooooooop. Put another quarter in and try again."

Friday, March 16, 2007


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Breaking News: Carmen Electra Falls

I'm going to remove this as soon as I stop dying, dying, dying...

Friday, March 09, 2007

Luna Eclipse