I will now tell you five things you don't know about me:

Me and McDonalds.

1. Out of love for sentient creatures, I was a vegetarian for about seven years. With blithe resolve, and a somewhat misaligned sense of compensation, I ended my vegetarianism - after an episode of road rage in Oklahoma. I pulled off the next exit, drove right up to McDonalds, ordered a Quarter Pounder w/ cheese...

(I've yet to blink, even once.)


2. When I was eight, and being driven to school one day, my dear Dad (he's dead, of course) told me to get out of the car and go stand in the drive-through line. He had to go to the motor lodge to call in his bets (of course). Now - I was a sharp kid, and that morning I remember struggling with what, I must assume, was one of my first intuitive dilemmas. While I was certain there would be no time wasted by going INSIDE the establishment to order, and I had a pressing hunch that the drive-through was strictly for driving through... I loved my Dad very, very much and I sensed that he would be humiliated to learn, from his GIRL+CHILD, that his directive was inane. So, I assumed my position behind a Chevy, and in front of a Buick. I waited for my turn at the speaker, approached...and began to order.

With vigor.

And with the tiniest seed of hope that, both:

A. my Dad really was an all-knowing ace


and

B. that we just might achieve breakfast in this unseemly manner.

The woman in the Buick obliterated my hope, for both, after some minutes:

"GIRL! GIRL> GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL! You gotta have the weight of a CAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHR to activate that machine now! Let's go! Get on now!"

Yet, because I LOVED my Dad so much, I chose to stand by his command. (AKA: It was this morning that I first considered the possible benefits of "playing dumb" for the love of a man.)

Stout-heartedly, I did not go inside.

We didn't eat breakfast that morning.

But!

I'm sure my Dad never questioned how much I loved him.
(Especially when I took up smoking so we could have more in common.)


3. When I was in college, I would set my alarm clock for 10:27 AM -
JUST so I could call in to *my* neighborhood McDonalds and ask them to save me two egg and cheese biscuits.

Every morning.

Even when I spent years abroad.

(I am their favorite customer!)


4. I do not endorse the movie "Supersize Me". Back in '99, I lived on nothing but McDonalds, three times a day, for well over three months. I never felt better in my life. Granted - I did not practice supersizing...(Edit to admit: and eating two egg and cheese biscuits every day really is not a good idea ---> nor is eating a bulbous pile of buckwheat every morning for that most imperative matter...)
But. I do feel that, if you are metabolically sound, one serving of the "regular" portion meals will MOST efficiently keep you full and fueled for many hours.

Pure subsistent elegance!

(That's what I say.)


5. I haven't read "Fast Food Nation".

(And - I refuse to blink about that either.)




* This post is for a "Tag" game. I think I'm supposed to tag five other bloggers or... the world explodes. (Like with chain letters?)
**My blogging loop, of two or three, has already been set to task! So, my sweet, sweet Jen (THE GREAT) - I definitely apologize for any mass chaos caused by my lack of friends and/or email addresses.