The Scuttlebutt Grunt

I am supposed to be at your PARTY!

2008-12-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

I'm coming!!??

I have now seen Kath & Kim 3-4 times, and I do really like it.

Love the romance!

I have got to go out the door down the street on the train to brooklyn to eat cookies and see my sweetest friend...and make it home again - without incident.

??????

Is this possible?

!!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA

2008-11-05T00:02:00.001-08:00

Live Blogging conclusion

2008-10-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

I probbabababaably won't watch Kath & Kim again.

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:55:00.000-07:00

@@@@@@@@@

ewwwwww

not at all funny in the scrubbing bubbles commercial

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:53:00.000-07:00

The scene before that with "I can't even watch TV" ...pretty funny

Ginger ok

ewwwwwww is always funny no matter what

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:50:00.000-07:00

Couch and Turn Back Time profile

yellow shoes

to------>

my darling you

Whitney!

LOVE THIS SCENE!

Romance!!!!

GREAT!

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:42:00.000-07:00

...I don't, think it's appropriate for you to date while you're married...hhhhup!

....PHIL! PHHHHHIL! PHIL!

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

...can't really sit up in this couch it's the way it's designed

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:37:00.001-07:00

Dream Catcher earrings

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

Mirror sequence

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:34:00.001-07:00

Green Bra Strap

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

2008-10-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

Thong

Casual Wear Pour Moi

2008-08-26T00:34:00.000-07:00

Where is Dorothy Michaels when you need her?

2008-08-25T02:09:00.000-07:00

Kyra Sedgwick's impersonation of Tootsie is a gut-bust of bad.

**This critique is brought to you months and months late.

God Bless

2008-08-10T00:41:00.001-07:00

I feel like my Dad just died all over again.

Ouch.

Never Apologize, Never Explain

2008-07-31T02:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Accident Films presents:

2008-07-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

La Guarde D'un Enfant (The Babysitter)

Chinese Delivery

Primary Pen & Ink: Asheville, N.C.

2008-05-02T08:25:00.000-07:00

My hometown got FACETIME from Campbell Robertson for The New York Times.

My sister points out that it is, perhaps, the watering can that is most hilarious--->

2008-04-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

Please wait approx. 45 seconds for Miestas intro music to finish. You have to hear this too.

It's a pretty old clip... BUT- I want it here.

I get it!

2008-04-03T05:40:00.000-07:00

+

=

Crazy! Happy! Funtimes!!!!

I would completely enjoy this guy's company -

2008-04-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

It's ALWAYS fun with Audrey!!!!

2008-04-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

Especially when we just sit around and make fun of Helen Hunt!

By the way-

2008-04-01T23:42:00.000-07:00

If you can sleep with yourself...

Hats off!

Rules of the past....

2008-04-01T23:12:00.001-07:00

Yeah. They are obsolete.

NO MATTER WHAT OCCURS.

If you're going to get anywhere you're actually gonna have to take me out.

Like -

To the Opera.

Or --->

To dinner.

If you can't rise...

I'd rather hang out with my dog.

Kisses.

I still like ZOMBIES...

2008-03-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

How pirate/ninja of me!

Where I stand on Ivanka Trump --->

2008-03-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

HUGE FAN.

Projection

2008-03-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

I realize it's hideous behavior to toss out words like - "hate", "duplicitous", "cowards". It's fishy! I KNOW I could grab a mirror. Also, it's rather gruesome to be unimpressed with people who may or may not be carrying around guinea pigs or to smugly throw Glen Campbell under the bus.

Anyway.

There are at least SEVEN things that I adore about New York.

And I'm learning day by day how to embrace a better bitter optimism.

So, if you would kindly excuse me my little "moment" there...

I will try to quietly focus all of my forthcoming, bit-lipped, fury on these two ===>

I Hate New York

2008-03-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

New York = Duplicitous Cowards

(Edit to clarify---> I'm looking straight at you MTA guy from last night.)

and money

(A $40.00 cab ride?)

YOU WIN!!!

I should have moved a long time ago.

BARF-CITY

Regardless... For the sake of my own amusement - I will share with myself another dream ---> for the records.

I was in a bookstore. It seemed very much like the Union Square - Barnes and Noble.
Real time, as usual. I found some very beautiful Special Edition hardbacks. Compilations of all great childhood classics. Stunning.

I noticed, incidentally, a girl walking around with a Guinea Pig under her arm.

No big deal. I wasn't impressed or surprised.

Real time. Still perusing.

I, incidentally, noticed three more random people with Guinea Pigs.

Curiouser... and curiouser. But, I still didn't care.

Until.

I saw a Guinea Pig stranded on a table, near checkout.

I went to help him, in case he fell. I was worried that he was just left alone. Small, sweet, dumb, alone, on a table.

When I went to pick him up...

It turned.

It was horrifying.

It was painful.

It was Real Time.

That Guinea Pig was going to kill me.

God. Help. Me.

I was ripped to shreds by this animal.

To the tune of ---> Classical Gas.

Thanks.

Of all the versions...it was Glenn Campbell's in my dream.

Edit to note:
"To see a guinea pig in your dream, represents your need to be more responsible and attentive. Alternatively, it suggests that through experimentation and taking risks, you learn how and how not to do something." (some online dream dictionary)

One of these is true. I mean I was really, really, really into those children's books.

I'm here for this --->

2008-03-19T05:26:00.000-07:00

I'm truly, truly sorry if you can't "get through" it.

Love,
Someone who has had ZERO success in being a woman, and remarkably LESS success in being a bitch, an immigrant, or an African American.

Please. PLEASE. PLEEEEEEEEASE --->

2008-03-19T00:18:00.001-07:00

NO MORE FROLICKING IN THE SURF WITHOUT WEARING THIS:

Never discuss politics. Just toss out light thoughts on the weather.

2008-03-18T23:38:00.000-07:00

I finally, understand this idea.

I feel like some kind of grumpy, old, prejudiced, bastard.

If you haven't been doing your homework - I'll know.

And I'll JUDGE you.

This is not an exciting race.

This is f*#@ing serious.

When We Aren't Playing Scrabble...

2008-03-16T01:32:00.000-07:00

Schnabel: I've been living with a lot of negativity for the past 15 years, but it never impacted on my work, or my way of working. It's like a rhinoceros with birds shitting on its back. It stopped me getting comfortable but it never worried me.

A. Randall: Nothing like a bathrobe. Did I tell you about my dream that I had twins, but they were Mexican, and some sort of Skink? You know, that kind with a head the same as it's tail?

Schnabel: I dream about art, and images come to me in dreams. I am definitely hoping to be in touch with my subconscious. I expect a call any minute.

A. Randall: Ring...Ring... Just kidding. Yeah. Not funny. At all. Forget it. Hey, can I borrow another bathrobe? This one's a little grubby.

A. Randall: Much better!

Schnabel: Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain some level of comfort.

A. Randall: Oh! Wow! Is that a "Monk style"? Uni-dyed, single ply, extra large hood, full length, 2 patch pockets, adjustable sleeve length with turn back cuffs, wide self fabric belt, 5 pounder?

Schnabel: Jealous?

A. Randall: Ahahhahhhahahahahhahahhahhaaaaahhahhaha! Heeeehehehhhhhhhehackhackhack-hack...

A. Randall: This is nice. We match. Well, not really...but we complement each other. Do you ever wonder what it's like to just blend in?

Schnabel: I paint paintings because I can't get the experience in any other way but there are many more experiences that are equally satisfying to me and equally inept at answering all my questions, but hover in exactitude in describing themselves and defying me to define their logic.

A. Randall: Hmmm. Yeah. What was the question?

Schnabel: It's a great excuse and luxury, having a job and blaming it for your inability to do your own art. When you don't have to work, you are left with the horror of facing your own lack of imagination and your own emptiness. A devastating possibility when finally time is your own.

A. Randall: I've totally memorized all of the two-letter words! Are you proud?! Look: Ro; noun- an artificial language for international use that rejects all existing words and is based instead on an abstract analysis of ideas. Ti; noun- a drink with jam and bread. Re; noun- a shortened form of retard.

A. Randall: Throw it!!! Over here! Pass! Oh yeah, you never did ask me who I was voting for.

It's Simply Not THAT Bad.

2008-03-13T16:45:00.000-07:00

Edit: But this is better.

Patterson Bear -

2008-03-13T13:31:00.001-07:00

I really have very little idea about this or what it stands for...

BUT ---->

It is certainly the most adorable creature I have ever laid eyes on.

The Norwegian Steinbeck - Knut Hamsun. (And Where We Take Another Look At Whistling)

2008-03-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

Alice In Wonderland(1865) will always be my favorite book. Flaws and all *. The Annotated Alice(1960) - my most valued.

Konrad Lorenz, despite personal socio-political missteps, has grabbed my very insides with his work - particularly King Solomon's Ring.(1949)

"The competition between human beings destroys with cold and diabolic brutality..." (Civilized Man's Eight Deadly Sins, page 45)

You can read many, many books in your lifetime. Most are good for the purpose of passing time. And that is a generous and kind "good", to be sure. But there are a very few, even from beloved and unmatchable writers, that stick to your gut and elevate the very truth of your own, claimed life.

Books written that live as you have lived them.

There's a visceral incarnation which indeed transcends time and space. You, yourself, know this world. You know it. It's era is incidental, as is it's peculiar context.

There is something in everything Steinbeck writes, without fail, that brings me to a core place.

East of Eden(1952), expressly, is more familiar to me than any of my own waking days... checked off, and fully lived.

I had read Knut Hamsun before - Hunger(1890)- and it did touch me... to a point. I hadn't made the connection to Steinbeck, however, before Growth Of The Soil (1920).

(Hamsun had eerily similar socio-poltical missteps congruent with Lorenz. Both men were loosely, unfortunately, momentarily, and wrongly marked as Nazi sympathizers.)

Knut- The Norwegian Steinbeck. Who'd have thought?

(Knut's first published novel preceded Steinbeck's by nine years...so perhaps, Steinbeck is the American Hamsun.)

Growth Of The Soil, I dare say, is the most perfect novel I have ever read. It is simple. It is hilarious. It is timeless in it's insight. Perfect.

So - it tips into first place. It beats East of Eden. It completely beats Alice.
(I easily distinguish perfect from favorite.)

A beautiful passage from Book Two:

Growth of the Soil By Knut Hamsun: ""
Growth of the Soil By Knut Hamsun: ""
Growth of the Soil By Knut Hamsun: ""
Growth of the Soil By Knut Hamsun: ""
Growth of the Soil By Knut Hamsun: ""
Growth of the Soil By Knut Hamsun: ""

* The flaws of Alice are matters of taste, and to my mind they are precisely those which make delightful - "The terrible mixture of suffering and cruelty and rudeness and false logic and traps for the innocent." (Collected Papers of Bertrand Russell, 521-529) The unresolved cruelty and nonsense, and Alice's struggles to adapt and learn from them, are also what I (we) love.

If this isn't TRUE LOVE -

2008-03-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter.

IT IS.

Dave is IN LOVE with Martha.

Martha is IN LOVE with Dave.

MAKE IT HAPPEN GUYS.

I believe!

Cousins?

2008-03-11T06:59:00.000-07:00

Do I actually have some kick-ass cowboy cousins out there somewhere?!

In The Heights!

2008-03-10T23:48:00.000-07:00

Left Brain? Right Brain?

2008-03-08T01:50:00.000-08:00

Maybe you've seen this!

But. I could watch it forever.

(And I will.)

If you see her spinning clockwise, you are more right-brained.

If you see her spinning counterclockwise...more left-brained.

You can control it yourself, switching her rotation back and forth using a touch of interruption.

Switch focus...sinusoidal projection.

Here's what you won't find me doing:

2008-03-07T17:08:00.000-08:00

Pretending NOT to be excited about The Return Of Jezebel James.

If it's 1/16th as good as Two And A Half Men*, I'll still be glued.

* Two And A Half Men is RAWTHER bad.

Sweet Dreams!

2008-03-07T01:12:00.000-08:00

Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was teaching Dr. Phil how to kayak.

Last night, I dreamed that I was a guest on Tyra. I was there as an expert on stress disorders. After the show, we ate in her cafeteria and I was too short to reach any of the food because it was designed for super-tall people. I was also dismayed by how dirty and gross the food was.

I'll bet tonight I go gun shopping with Martha or something.

When Hillary Looks In The Mirror, What Does She See?

2008-03-06T17:00:00.000-08:00

The Frick: Good Art/ Funny Art/ Sad Art/ Bad Art... Save Yourself A Trip.

2008-02-29T23:55:00.000-08:00

GOOD ART:

Nicolaes Ruts/ Rembrant

St. Jerome/ El Greco

Arrangement in Black and Gold: Compte Robert de Montesquiou-Fezensac/ Whistler

Honorable Mentions ---> St. Francis in the Desert/ Bellini, The White Horse/ John Constable, Pietro Aretino/ Titian, The Forge/ Goya

FUNNY ART:

Thomas Cromwell/ Hans Holbien the Younger

SAD ART:
The Dead Thrush/ Houdon

BAD ART:

Pretty much everything else.
YEP. EVERYTHING.

25 degrees!!

2008-02-29T10:57:00.000-08:00

21 degrees!

2008-02-29T09:45:00.000-08:00

LEAP!

LEAP DAY!

2008-02-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful, 18 degree, but flip-flop wearing, kind of mornin'!

LOVE IT!

XOXO

2008-02-24T01:27:00.000-08:00

Ahem.

Dear Willie,
My love(r). Remember that night? Asheville, NC? Your 63rd birthday? Bus? Billowing Clouds of the MAD &*%^?
Remember my kiss? Right there? Yet another? Right there? A few more? Remember how you smiled? And said, "Yeah..."?

Okay! I KNOW you've all heard this story 3000 times. BUT, THIS IS IMPORTANT. Jeepers. Give a man a Cobb Salad and call it Barton Fink already!

Anyway.

So. I saw you on Ellen the other day and you were talking about horse slaughter. I love you more than than every last willow on any given wisp. AND, well, you were also talking about putting a stop to Pit Bull fighting. Your targeted region appears to be Atlanta, Georgia. UHHHM. How can I put this delicately? If you would be so kind as to swing your sweet ass on up my way, I will MORE than make it up to you. Hint. Kiss? Hint. There's a "project" I need your assistance with.

Most graciously,
Your Fair Sronce

All right now. That's the metal I hold, yo. We's gots ourselves some HEAT up in this juicebox.

Little Bugsy says:

OR ELSE:

New York has successfully turned me into this guy -->

2008-02-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

Except with a bigger nose and thinner hair.

PS: Yes. My nose has actually gotten bigger since I moved to this candy apple town.

Barbara looked SO hot on Conan last night!

2008-02-22T16:41:00.000-08:00

As they say down near City Hall - "She looked MEATS*!"

*Mr. Doyle says this. I'm almost certain, though, he's the only one who does.

Madame Tutli-Putli

2008-02-21T10:29:00.000-08:00

Peter and the Wolf

2008-02-19T23:46:00.000-08:00

I totally thought this guy was Zach Braff.

2008-02-18T17:50:00.000-08:00

And that he could now only get work playing bizarrely bad Mexican stereotypes after threatening to punch that child in the face when he got punk'd.

Turns out it's not, and Zach Braff will continue to work as "himself".

Anyway, neither scenario pleases me AT ALL.

Birthday DEMANDS!

2008-02-18T16:58:00.000-08:00

YOU HAVE 'TIL TOMORROW TO GET ME ALL OF THESE.

PS: I'll totally settle for Kartusch!!!!

My "type"

2008-02-17T13:54:00.001-08:00

Concerning the audition - I guess I didn't NAIL it.

There are very few indications that "Sronce" is a "Woman in Comedy".

SRONCE IS COMEDY.

A perfect metaphor:

2008-02-17T13:12:00.000-08:00

Sent to me by Jeffrey - the most awesome man in NYC.

Yeasayer on Conan!

2008-02-16T01:40:00.000-08:00

"2080"

It was a JOYOUS performance.

BOSTON. You need to swallow. HARD.

2008-02-15T18:56:00.000-08:00

Let a man live and love just for the goofy, harmless, Southern Baptist fun of it all for God's sake.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

You're dead, Boston.

YOU ARE DEAD.

I suggest you start patrolling the Karaoke bars. That is where you're truly being disparaged.

Grandmother Steps?

2008-02-15T17:15:00.000-08:00

What is a blog?

Why the compulsion for such emphatic personal promotion?

Why the isolated desperation?

Is it for family? Friends? Strangers in strange lands? Or, for a sole stumblebunny in a slovenly slush hut?

Is it an endearing attempt to make oneself more understood?

Is it to express "critically important" opinions? On politics? On Britney?

Possibly, it is to drop extremely obscure references as I have in the title of this very post! Aren't I clever!

I have a dominating hunch that a good blog's job is to unabashedly reveal the writer's softest spot of heel, post after gut-wrenching post.

I have spared no reader my truth. So? Why dare I stop now?

Would you like yet another morsel concerning the inner workings of your most unwhisperable Sronce?

Sure. Sure, you would...my non-benumbed cherubim.

Fine.

Make mincemeat of me if you must, but I ardently adore this and it's practice:

Hats off to THE GRAMMYS!

2008-02-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

What an excellent show!!!

Amy Winehouse was adorable and...WELL! Good for her!

I cannot believe all of the musicians we lost this year.

BIG TIME losses.

Not least, the loss of this guy?

PS: I sooo hope my Mom is trying to get a piece of that!

日本の旅行者のためのワシントン高さへのガイド(Guide to Washington Heights for Japanese Tourists)

2008-02-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

私の付近に歓迎される日本の旅行者のためのワシントン高さへのガイド！

回廊〔修道院〕を見に、来てください！

有名なユニコーンタペストリーを見に、来てください!!

「小さい赤い灯台」を見に、来てください！モリスJumel大邸宅を見に、来てください！おお！

ここに見るべきとても多くの幻があります！

あなたの目をもてなしてください！

そして注意深くしてください。

Top Ten Reasons Why A Man Wears a Turtleneck --->

2008-02-10T13:15:00.000-08:00

10. He simply can't be stopped.

9. He thinks he's a member of the Englewood soccer team, circa 1908.

8. He's this guy:

6. The kid stays in the turtleneck.

5. He's this guy:

4. Or this Icelandic girl:

3. He's totally HOT.

2. He's a member of the BESSIE PIECHOWIAK LEPCZYK FAMILY.

1. He hates me.

Critically important thoughts:

2008-02-10T01:05:00.000-08:00

The above -----> sums up many of my feelings.

I've watched "Ratatouille" six times since yesterday.

I'll add:

1. I do love rats. When it comes to a rat in my wall, twelve rats in Subway, or a rat on the actual tracks...I am rooting for the rat. It's braver than you.

2. I also love pigeons and seagulls.

Pigeons are heartbreaking.

Seagulls are hilarious.

Perhaps, I prefer seagulls. But, again, the critical idea is that - I prefer them to you!

Concerning: OBSEQUIOUSNESS

2008-02-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

There is NOTHING that makes me sicker.

* SEE: TRUCKLE

** okay fine... Mitt Romney made me sickest

Who could refuse this?

2008-02-08T12:59:00.001-08:00

I'd hire him.

He could fight off all the Pit Bulls in my building.

AND get that metal piece out of my bathroom light socket.

Repulsion Attraction

2008-02-02T12:34:00.000-08:00

A funny thing happened when I first saw this. A couple of funny things have happened since. With regard to this particular performance by Les Savy Fav on Conan O'Brian - my very NYC survival skills were completely thrown on their head and stomped, only to be gator-spun into nothing short of a chrysalis from which my tired heart would unknowingly burst through, newborn.

My eyes rejected what I saw. I was put into a state. I was furious in a way that was unseemly and unexpected. Yet, in no way inappropriate. This was the very, very WORST performance I HAVE EVER SEEN in my life. This was a bloated splooge of self love and I wanted to hurl. This red-legged devil-king of all that is megalomaniacal threw the very last strands of my tolerance into the disposal as I was desperately trying to find protection in a Barbie's sneaker. Concepcion could never have heard my screams.

Down I went.

I refuse to earmark all of the particularities of this performance. In a land where one can say exactly what one means and STILL be misunderstood, I abandon the right to knock each one of the violations.

Call this a performance, call this a fat joke, call this an example of, despite previous assumption, there really not being room enough for everyone's dreams and/or whims.

I hope I never see anything like it again.

I truly would rather lick gravel for a year.

However, sweet reader, I absolutely cannot deny the fact that buried underneath the layers of cape, tulip fold t-shirt tutu, puffed up flatulent quasi-anger, coin slot, eagle hat, cat-crawl crap...

lies a GREAT SONG!

I'm hooked.

I'm going to go and download it off iTunes right now.

Oh...no. NO.

2008-01-22T17:33:00.000-08:00

My Favorite Movie - The 10th Victim

2007-12-05T20:30:00.000-08:00

Halloween: A perfectly reasonable day to die.

2007-11-06T09:03:00.000-08:00

RIP SJS.

NOW. I'M TRYING TO REGAIN MY SENSE OF HUMOR.

Alright.

STOP DYING!!!!!!!

Relentless.

Open the door. Get on the floor...

2007-10-27T00:41:00.000-07:00

Gnimocsineewollah.

2007-10-26T01:44:00.000-07:00

I want to look at this for a while too:

2007-10-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

Just heard Britney's new singles...

2007-08-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

I was holding out for her.

Alas.

Actually, I think the Black Angel Of Death might enjoy "Cold as Fire".*

* They now only allow flattering images of Britney on YouTube. How Soviet!
** Note ----> I have now listened to that song approximately 287 times.
***She sounds like Lisa Simpson.

By the way...

2007-08-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

I wholeheartedly love this. I love it very much. And if you ask me, I'll tell you how much.

----> It's all in there.

Visions of Mt. Desert Island

2007-08-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

Do you know what is absolutely fun?

2007-07-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

Sculpey Fairies visiting you in the wee small hours!!

Beautiful.

I want to look at this for a while:

2007-07-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

Edit ----> to note a couple of things:

I thought I could survive on the irony. That blue question mark box was somehow fun to look at, for a while.

But now, I want to get back to my original object of visual delight.

So. Go on ahead and eat up my audio content. (Why give it back to me ----> only to take it away after I express my gratitude? Dirty Pool, folks.)

But, please, do leave me my Walken.

AWESOME

2007-07-18T12:40:00.001-07:00

They ARE Really Cute...

2007-07-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

To All The Robots I Have Loved Before -

2007-07-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

I was totally lying...

Lately, I've been enjoying:

2007-07-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

You knew me when...

2007-07-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

...I'd been animating for three weeks!

It won't be long now, Pixar!

Retrospective:

2007-07-06T02:37:00.000-07:00

First:

Happy 6th of July!

The Thing is on TNT, *D*Y*N*A*M*I*T*E*, right now.

I just got to see so many faces melt off.

Which reminds me of when I remembered all of those many faces ripping and melting...
Remember?

This crap heap is almost ONE YEAR OLD.

What a hideous year to pick for blogging.

JUST FOWL. To repeat - FOWL.

Well, I hope you enjoyed it.

:)

I will leave you with one final pop consideration:

A VERY SICK MAN.

Nightmares, forever.

New for Fall:
The Annotated Scuttlebutt Grunt

** And I would like to thank the Blogger Team for giving me back my old audio posts.

DONE... AND DONE!

2007-06-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

Iran - Age Like A Persian

2007-06-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

I used to think men were the ones who aged well.

Come to find:

Damn. Now, this dame is totally hot and she's at least 83 years old.

Maybe she's sneaking over some Dead Sea Salts or something...who knows.

Maybe we were visually deceived.

(Shhhhhh... but she might just even be a smidge hotter than Barbara. A smidge.)

(Who - I CANNOT F@&%*#G believe JUST got a star on that S#*T walk of fame.)

Please enjoy:

2007-06-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

Winsor McCay

Go ahead, make your big "STATEMENT":

2007-05-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

Just leave my corgi out of it!!!!!!!!!!

Awww, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Lukas' picture:

2007-05-29T15:54:00.000-07:00

Now that's some fine ART.

Does anybody else miss this guy?

2007-05-29T14:05:00.001-07:00

Or... is it just me?

Tom! I found your pictures:

2007-05-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

Here's the story:

When Tom rode his bike to work in Anchorage he always passed by this house that had a theater in the yard.

On the TV, was an evangelist. (You can just make out his shoulders...) Making sport of it, Tom checked in on this splay whenever he had the chance. It was decided that this evangelist must have had a 24 hour, unlimited pass to public access television. And he seemed to be broadcast constantly for an unlikely, yet endurant, length of time.

After several weeks someone finally shot the TV, in typical Alaskan renegade form.

Begging the question:

My hunch = MOST LIKELY.

The proprietor, not to be deterred by such errant faith, immediately installed another TV featuring the 24 hour evangelist. (Here - you can just make out his head...)

Alaska is hilarious.

Happy Birthday Little Miss!

2007-05-20T08:55:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

Instead of focusing on the bone crushing sadness of not having a Mother anymore, I would rather do sixteen cartwheels, forty Mongolian headsprings, and six splits over this joyous prospect:

TV's most offensive Mom is finally out of a job!

YAY.

Seriously.

YAY.

Happy.

Now, I Lay Me Down To Sleep.

2007-05-13T01:03:00.001-07:00

I pray the Lord
My soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord
My soul to take.

A. Randall Sronce - Fan Of Man

2007-05-10T15:37:00.000-07:00

I certainly adore him.

Look!

How lightly he may surge through life!

Rarely laden with "bags"!

Take the gun away from him and throw on a pair of "choice" shoes

and...

I really have only good things to say.

(Except - STOP WITH THE WHISTLING. Not the catcall variety, that's harmless. Stop whistling mindless tunes you infernally smug, glib, blameless, cowardly man. I hate "people" who whistle. And, quite frankly, I haven't heard a woman walk around so she could whistle....EVER? Stop it. It's a disgusting habit.)

I'm saying - "choice" shoes.

I think it's within every man's reach to acquire the perfect shoe.

This is all I expect.

This is, pretty much, all I ask.

And yet,

I sit here tonight so gape-mouthedly sad.

This:

a Dansko Clog...

waltzed by me this evening.

On the foot of NOT:
1. a Mom
2. a Lesbian
3. a Nurse

But.

A MAN.

There is not a potential reality to be conjured that would permissibly host the MAN foot that dare don the ---> Dansko Clog.

I am so upset! Just so worked up.

And, look!

My insomnia rears it's knackered head once again.

I wish, wish, wish to GOD and T. JUMHIMBOO that I had never seen it.

Book Club!

2007-05-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

Finally!

I am the proud member of a book club.

(I may be the PROUDEST member.)

Here's what we just read:

Did you know that armadillos bury their poop like cats?

Neither did I, until I joined the BOOK CLUB.

Jealous much?

Yeah.

So, here's what we're reading next:

Pretty Much, The Final Verdict:

2007-04-27T16:16:00.000-07:00

Never should have been...

Sucks for all.

Oh! Oh. No.

2007-04-27T16:00:00.000-07:00

Flux.

I forgot.

Alec interrupted Barbara way too much.

#######

It really upsets me when people interrupt or talk over Barbara Walters.

Alec - Post "The View" Flux Assessment

2007-04-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

I wanted to get him on back down to a healthy 10%, but the BIG FAT martyr factor doesn't sit well with me.

#######

*Leaving 30Rock = NEEDLESS

*Passionately campaigning for the rights of alienated parents everywhere = NOT NECESSARILY GOING TO BRING YOU CLOSER TO IRELAND

*Splish Splash = A VERY GOOD IDEA

Sure:

2007-04-26T10:14:00.000-07:00

She may have ratted you out for not running the full sixteen "suicides" in field hockey practice... but, never forget, it takes a heart of gold to invite Emily Udder to your sleepover.

Truth be told:

Tyra will grow on you like a fine layer of P. camemberti if you give her half the chance.

OK... I totally take it back.

2007-04-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

Call me fickle...

But.

I'm already laughing.

Poor Alec.

YouTube! You Fail Me Not!

2007-04-23T00:56:00.000-07:00

The Scuttlebutt Grunt

I am supposed to be at your PARTY!

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Live Blogging conclusion

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Live Blogging - Kath & Kim

Casual Wear Pour Moi

Where is Dorothy Michaels when you need her?

God Bless

Never Apologize, Never Explain

Happy Accident Films presents:

Primary Pen & Ink: Asheville, N.C.

My sister points out that it is, perhaps, the watering can that is most hilarious--->

I get it!

I would completely enjoy this guy's company -

It's ALWAYS fun with Audrey!!!!

By the way-

Rules of the past....

I still like ZOMBIES...

Where I stand on Ivanka Trump --->

Projection

I Hate New York

I'm here for this --->

Please. PLEASE. PLEEEEEEEEASE --->

Never discuss politics. Just toss out light thoughts on the weather.

When We Aren't Playing Scrabble...

It's Simply Not THAT Bad.

Patterson Bear -

The Norwegian Steinbeck - Knut Hamsun. (And Where We Take Another Look At Whistling)

If this isn't TRUE LOVE -

Cousins?

In The Heights!

Left Brain? Right Brain?

Here's what you won't find me doing:

Sweet Dreams!

When Hillary Looks In The Mirror, What Does She See?

The Frick: Good Art/ Funny Art/ Sad Art/ Bad Art... Save Yourself A Trip.

25 degrees!!

21 degrees!

LEAP DAY!

XOXO

New York has successfully turned me into this guy -->

Barbara looked SO hot on Conan last night!

Madame Tutli-Putli

Peter and the Wolf

I totally thought this guy was Zach Braff.

Birthday DEMANDS!

My "type"

A perfect metaphor:

Yeasayer on Conan!

BOSTON. You need to swallow. HARD.

Grandmother Steps?

Hats off to THE GRAMMYS!

日本の旅行者のためのワシントン高さへのガイド(Guide to Washington Heights for Japanese Tourists)

Top Ten Reasons Why A Man Wears a Turtleneck --->

Critically important thoughts:

Concerning: OBSEQUIOUSNESS

Who could refuse this?

Repulsion Attraction

Oh...no. NO.

My Favorite Movie - The 10th Victim

Halloween: A perfectly reasonable day to die.

Open the door. Get on the floor...

Gnimocsineewollah.

I want to look at this for a while too:

Just heard Britney's new singles...

By the way...

Visions of Mt. Desert Island

Do you know what is absolutely fun?

I want to look at this for a while:

A*W*E*S*O*M*E

They ARE Really Cute...

To All The Robots I Have Loved Before -

AWESOME